Gently, gently

I’m gently, gently getting back to the posts. Can’t guarantee anything v regular but here it goes

So these are a previous pair. Originally worn during my brother’s wedding 3 years ago! Phew that only seems like last summer. Orublu peony. A few nicks due to my increasing clumsiness but a good looking pair of tights with a bit of surprise bouquet of flowers.

A terrible year

What a terrible year it’s been. I hope everyone has been well. My tights have taken a bit of a back seat lately and with me wearing them less this will remain the default position.

However when the occasion arises, the tights will still be with us!

These lovely ‘uns are oroblu azeleas. A beautiful floral arrangement which will break up an outfit of pure black to bring in a bit of pizzazz!

New dog socks

I have got new dog socks because that’s what you do when you get a new dog.

I like the ear detail and the paws on the sole.

Winter Selection 2

Winter selection 2.

Not too exciting. Just some warming pairs of thick tights. Big problem with some of these winter selection offers, and it’s not just these three but from all, is the fall down rate. I’m pulling up some tights everytime I get up ans after every couple of steps. It doesn’t make me look very chic and sophisticated.

Happy Christmas 2019

Happy Christmas 2019! Quick write up today. Posted this pic on Instagram this morning so here is the low down.

In my Christmas stocking this morning, I got some tights! Hurray. These green and red striped tights was one if them and being the big day an’ all I had to put these on today.

The effect was great, the feel was good, however there was a bit of anti-gravity effect.

Winter selection 1

This is winter selection 1. Just like American TV, hoseoffun is having a Christmas break. Unlike American TV, it won’t last from November to February!

However like all holiday TV, hoseoffun will be doing compilation programmes. Unlike holiday TV, these will not be old clips spliced together but tights y’all seen before and worn recently for this cold weather.

Now the new thing that you may have noticed is the change of model. I’ve used my display leg. I wore these tights without taking any pictures so I needed a way to show you lots of tights quickly and efficiently. The leg was very effective. Why can’t human legs be as slippery as plastic ones?

These are the first three, stripes. Two pairs of long socks and my ‘elf’¹ tights.

Elf¹ so called because I wear these at Christmas and think elves wear them.

A whole afternoon of planning

I spent a whole afternoon planning an outfit and then the hosiery wearers worse nightmare happened.

My outfit was going to be something dark with any choice of blackish tights. As the afternoon went by my memory recalled a pair of tan shoes that I’d never worn. I had to change my dress choice.

I opted for a purple and beige dress and hunted for a tan background pair of tights. There weren’t that many so my shopping list now has included patterned tanned hosiery.

I chose a Jonathan Aston leaf pattern which matched brilliantly with the florals on the dress. Pretty chuffed with the results I showed my husband. All smiles but after a twirl his beady eye caught sight of the hosiery wearer’s nightmare… ladders!

All the way from my toes to above the knee! Oh no!!

I had to then start scavenging for another tan based tights and it took me ages to find the last pair. Finally I settled for this floral number.

Truly winter

It is truly winter when tights are a norm for your morning getting ready routine. I’ve been grateful for the thick woolly types these last couple of weeks but haven’t/forgotten to take pics of.

These are checked ones from that China batch, which were wore when it first started cooling down. Remember quite silky feeling tights but needing superman pants to keep them up. Well these are also my indestructible batch too. I’m not keen and they don’t seem to ladder or snag and I am trying cos I’m trying to get rid. Blasphemy!!!

What do you think?

Hmmmm, what do you think? Are these a keeper?

After a day of wearing these oroblu, I found they had snags and a hole just above knee. You know the type, where some velcro has accidentally come into contact.

So do I chuck or do I keep…

In true hose of fun stylee, I’m gonna wash them and wear at least one more time. At least I’m giving them a proper send off.

Birthday treats

It’s that time of year and my three main birthday treats involved tummy, body and legs.

I had a wonderful meal at Alchemilla in Nottingham.

I got a new dress from ASOS.

And I wore a pair of holdups that I’ve been waiting for a special occasion to put on.

Where shall I start? Well this ain’t a food blog so you won’t find a restaurant review here. (The food was amazing and I felt very sick at the end  of the ten course taster menu, with three amuse-bouches and a fun palette cleanser, I count that as 14 courses really)
I do not see myself as an overgarment connoisseur so no clothes reviews either! (A tiered, flitty hemmed minidress in raspberry, it had a bit of room for expanding belly)
I shall start and finish always with the hose. I have been waiting to wear these for ages. Too fancy for work, too extortionate for lounging about the house in but just right for an upmarket food place, these Falke peacock stocking top holdups are gorgeous. Look at those feathers. My breath was taken away when I revealed these.

More air was taken when I started to open up the stocking to put on. I don’t know if it was the length of time they have been laying around in storage or if it was the strength of the silicon bands but these suckers were firmly stuck together. I gently prised them apart, thinking that at any moment the bands were going to fail and detach from hose, every second felt like a lifetime and then, and then, I had to go through the whole process again with the other leg.

They feel smooth and silky. The silicon was in two wide bands which indeed was of good quality and stayed put. Worth the wait and by moisturising my legs and hands, no snags.

How to make a Dr’s appointment better

This is how to make a Dr’s appointment better, get some cheerful (cheap) tights from China.

These are hearts. They feel very silky and smooth but superhero underpants should be worn with them.

I am Hosius Funious!

Tonight Matthew I’m going to be Hosius Funious.

If you want to pretend to be wearing gladiator boots then these are the tights to wear. Oroblu “vision” are a tan pair of hosiery with a below knee pattern to imitate a Greek/Roman sandal.Very clever. The main body has an added detail. If I didn’t wear pants I might look like the cover but I do so I just look like a mad woman so no pics there.

Now I am off for a bit of an afternoon pub crawl so what shoes should I wear. Here are the nominations…
1) Too glittery and slippery
2) Second thoughts, open toe sandals with tights hmmmm
3) Duh! You can’t see the tights!
4) Good classic DMs but still hiding too much of the design
5) Gorgeous glitter Dune boots but I’m gonna be crippled by those heels
6) Ah, cute walkable, yes these are the ones for today. My odd pair of bear/kitty TUK shoe . (Remember my pair of kitty/bear are my spare shoes at work for any “ooh my feet are killing days”)

Eye catching outfit

Want to create an eye catching outfit, then these moustache tights will be just up your street.

Pairing them with work black, I like to break up the seriousness with a fine pair of statement hosiery.

Love these!

Full steam ahead

Full steam ahead, I’m back on top form with regular posts. Well that’s what I’m hoping to do.

These beauties are a grey tramline design from Marilyn, called inventively “shine E15”. The grey bits were slightly shiny and the tramlines were well defined. Good.

My only problem was trying to keep the lines straight. I think it’s my funny walk! 😆

The most hardy of all

The most hardy of all hosiery are the ones we don’t have much love for. Following on from my “number of casualties” post, I thought I, I, let’s try to get rid of some of those pairs from a China batch. These tights are indeed value for money, and they did have quite a silky smooth feel to them but they do fall a bit and leave you with a loose crotch. Superhero pants are required! Other than a few snags these tights, I predict will outlast them all!

The number of casualties

By trying to be cost effective the number of casualties seem to be high.

When I started this blog, I wanted to share the dozen or so patterned tights I owned. Within weeks I realised my collection would need to grow in order to sustain my postings. Within months I had accumulated many pairs. This last year after filling four underbed lidded boxes and at least two large bags, I made the decision to downsize the collection. You may have noticed I am wearing previously worn tights more, and I am finding that I’m losing them.

One of the latest victims are these Golden Lady, “surrealism” tights,

a grid, criss cross embossed design punctuated with a dot. They had a back seam too. A warming pair of hose.

My conclusion for the year is, if you want to keep any hosiery then don’t wear them more than once, twice if you’re being super careful.

Hoarding well

Thank goodness I’ve been hoarding well. These tights were worn months ago and I thought I’d forgotten what they were but in my stash of things to throw out was the packaging so all is well. I can tell you these are Jonathan Aston “abstract” tights.

Walking Gear

This was my walking gear for a day out with friends at Rutland Water. Trust Hoseoffun to always try to glam up any occasion, either that or people just think I’m completely bonkers.

Green fishnets from ASOS was what I opted for and as you all know fishnets on bare feet can cause blisters and chafing. Usually I put on a pair of socks over the tights but what about under the tights, would that be better? Well today is the time to find out!

For the interests of science, the science of hosiery, I wore one sock beneath and the other on top. No chafing, hey you are dealing with an expert here but for all you amateurs my experience tells you that if you want to no chafing then under. When I’ve worn them over fishnets I am able to feel the nets and feel a long extended walk would lead to pain.

Both ways are a little unusual and feel abnormal but it is one of the many tips I have to avoid hosiery wearing injuries. No one knows, especially if you wear a lovely pair of boots.

The day turned out to be quite sunny and I did think I may get fishnet tan lines but unfortunately (because I’m eccentric) it didn’t happen. The tights avoided toe strangulation due to the fiber net around the ends. Against my pale legs the green was well defined.

For the Summer

It’s been sooo hot this year my hosiery wearing has been a bit haphazard but for the summer if you can’t bear to bare those legs then I suggest a pair of hold ups like these Trasparenze ones called Oro.

These were the last pair of hold ups I wore from May. They are ideal for weather that is very changeable, mebbe not the sweltering stuff of recent weeks. I suggest a thinner pair for these conditions. As you can see these were higher denier with a glittery, shimmering floral design. Trasparenze is a brand I rate. Good solid hosiery, that always look good and the hold ups always hold up.

Pair two

So here is pair two. A pink affair from Tesco as described from previous post.

Coloured fishnets are the next big thing.