Why tights and stockings and hosiery?

Everyone seems to be blogging so jumping on the bandwagon, what can I blog regularly about?
Telling the world what I had for my dinner each night seemed like a good idea but I repeat meals all the time. So hearing me have spaghetti bolognese for the twentieth time this year doesn’t sound that inspiring.
Knitting! I could write about my knitting. I’ve been knitting for nearly four years and even though my finished products have been unique and practical, they do take a long time to complete so not really a subject that will have regular posts.
What can I do that is quick, can produce an image and is fun? Ahhhh! My collection (obsession in purchasing) of tights and stockings and hosiery in general will fulfil these three criteria. BOOM! I have my blog.

Gently, gently

I’m gently, gently getting back to the posts. Can’t guarantee anything v regular but here it goes

So these are a previous pair. Originally worn during my brother’s wedding 3 years ago! Phew that only seems like last summer. Orublu peony. A few nicks due to my increasing clumsiness but a good looking pair of tights with a bit of surprise bouquet of flowers.

A terrible year

What a terrible year it’s been. I hope everyone has been well. My tights have taken a bit of a back seat lately and with me wearing them less this will remain the default position.

However when the occasion arises, the tights will still be with us!

These lovely ‘uns are oroblu azeleas. A beautiful floral arrangement which will break up an outfit of pure black to bring in a bit of pizzazz!

New dog socks

I have got new dog socks because that’s what you do when you get a new dog.

I like the ear detail and the paws on the sole.

Winter Selection 2

Winter selection 2.

Not too exciting. Just some warming pairs of thick tights. Big problem with some of these winter selection offers, and it’s not just these three but from all, is the fall down rate. I’m pulling up some tights everytime I get up ans after every couple of steps. It doesn’t make me look very chic and sophisticated.

Happy Christmas 2019

Happy Christmas 2019! Quick write up today. Posted this pic on Instagram this morning so here is the low down.

In my Christmas stocking this morning, I got some tights! Hurray. These green and red striped tights was one if them and being the big day an’ all I had to put these on today.

The effect was great, the feel was good, however there was a bit of anti-gravity effect.

Winter selection 1

This is winter selection 1. Just like American TV, hoseoffun is having a Christmas break. Unlike American TV, it won’t last from November to February!

However like all holiday TV, hoseoffun will be doing compilation programmes. Unlike holiday TV, these will not be old clips spliced together but tights y’all seen before and worn recently for this cold weather.

Now the new thing that you may have noticed is the change of model. I’ve used my display leg. I wore these tights without taking any pictures so I needed a way to show you lots of tights quickly and efficiently. The leg was very effective. Why can’t human legs be as slippery as plastic ones?

These are the first three, stripes. Two pairs of long socks and my ‘elf’¹ tights.

Elf¹ so called because I wear these at Christmas and think elves wear them.

A whole afternoon of planning

I spent a whole afternoon planning an outfit and then the hosiery wearers worse nightmare happened.

My outfit was going to be something dark with any choice of blackish tights. As the afternoon went by my memory recalled a pair of tan shoes that I’d never worn. I had to change my dress choice.

I opted for a purple and beige dress and hunted for a tan background pair of tights. There weren’t that many so my shopping list now has included patterned tanned hosiery.

I chose a Jonathan Aston leaf pattern which matched brilliantly with the florals on the dress. Pretty chuffed with the results I showed my husband. All smiles but after a twirl his beady eye caught sight of the hosiery wearer’s nightmare… ladders!

All the way from my toes to above the knee! Oh no!!

I had to then start scavenging for another tan based tights and it took me ages to find the last pair. Finally I settled for this floral number.

Truly winter

It is truly winter when tights are a norm for your morning getting ready routine. I’ve been grateful for the thick woolly types these last couple of weeks but haven’t/forgotten to take pics of.

These are checked ones from that China batch, which were wore when it first started cooling down. Remember quite silky feeling tights but needing superman pants to keep them up. Well these are also my indestructible batch too. I’m not keen and they don’t seem to ladder or snag and I am trying cos I’m trying to get rid. Blasphemy!!!

What do you think?

Hmmmm, what do you think? Are these a keeper?

After a day of wearing these oroblu, I found they had snags and a hole just above knee. You know the type, where some velcro has accidentally come into contact.

So do I chuck or do I keep…

In true hose of fun stylee, I’m gonna wash them and wear at least one more time. At least I’m giving them a proper send off.

Birthday treats

It’s that time of year and my three main birthday treats involved tummy, body and legs.

I had a wonderful meal at Alchemilla in Nottingham.

I got a new dress from ASOS.

And I wore a pair of holdups that I’ve been waiting for a special occasion to put on.

Where shall I start? Well this ain’t a food blog so you won’t find a restaurant review here. (The food was amazing and I felt very sick at the end  of the ten course taster menu, with three amuse-bouches and a fun palette cleanser, I count that as 14 courses really)
I do not see myself as an overgarment connoisseur so no clothes reviews either! (A tiered, flitty hemmed minidress in raspberry, it had a bit of room for expanding belly)
I shall start and finish always with the hose. I have been waiting to wear these for ages. Too fancy for work, too extortionate for lounging about the house in but just right for an upmarket food place, these Falke peacock stocking top holdups are gorgeous. Look at those feathers. My breath was taken away when I revealed these.

More air was taken when I started to open up the stocking to put on. I don’t know if it was the length of time they have been laying around in storage or if it was the strength of the silicon bands but these suckers were firmly stuck together. I gently prised them apart, thinking that at any moment the bands were going to fail and detach from hose, every second felt like a lifetime and then, and then, I had to go through the whole process again with the other leg.

They feel smooth and silky. The silicon was in two wide bands which indeed was of good quality and stayed put. Worth the wait and by moisturising my legs and hands, no snags.

How to make a Dr’s appointment better

This is how to make a Dr’s appointment better, get some cheerful (cheap) tights from China.

These are hearts. They feel very silky and smooth but superhero underpants should be worn with them.

I am Hosius Funious!

Tonight Matthew I’m going to be Hosius Funious.

If you want to pretend to be wearing gladiator boots then these are the tights to wear. Oroblu “vision” are a tan pair of hosiery with a below knee pattern to imitate a Greek/Roman sandal.Very clever. The main body has an added detail. If I didn’t wear pants I might look like the cover but I do so I just look like a mad woman so no pics there.

Now I am off for a bit of an afternoon pub crawl so what shoes should I wear. Here are the nominations…
1) Too glittery and slippery
2) Second thoughts, open toe sandals with tights hmmmm
3) Duh! You can’t see the tights!
4) Good classic DMs but still hiding too much of the design
5) Gorgeous glitter Dune boots but I’m gonna be crippled by those heels
6) Ah, cute walkable, yes these are the ones for today. My odd pair of bear/kitty TUK shoe . (Remember my pair of kitty/bear are my spare shoes at work for any “ooh my feet are killing days”)

Eye catching outfit

Want to create an eye catching outfit, then these moustache tights will be just up your street.

Pairing them with work black, I like to break up the seriousness with a fine pair of statement hosiery.

Love these!

Full steam ahead

Full steam ahead, I’m back on top form with regular posts. Well that’s what I’m hoping to do.

These beauties are a grey tramline design from Marilyn, called inventively “shine E15”. The grey bits were slightly shiny and the tramlines were well defined. Good.

My only problem was trying to keep the lines straight. I think it’s my funny walk! 😆

The most hardy of all

The most hardy of all hosiery are the ones we don’t have much love for. Following on from my “number of casualties” post, I thought I, I, let’s try to get rid of some of those pairs from a China batch. These tights are indeed value for money, and they did have quite a silky smooth feel to them but they do fall a bit and leave you with a loose crotch. Superhero pants are required! Other than a few snags these tights, I predict will outlast them all!

The number of casualties

By trying to be cost effective the number of casualties seem to be high.

When I started this blog, I wanted to share the dozen or so patterned tights I owned. Within weeks I realised my collection would need to grow in order to sustain my postings. Within months I had accumulated many pairs. This last year after filling four underbed lidded boxes and at least two large bags, I made the decision to downsize the collection. You may have noticed I am wearing previously worn tights more, and I am finding that I’m losing them.

One of the latest victims are these Golden Lady, “surrealism” tights,

a grid, criss cross embossed design punctuated with a dot. They had a back seam too. A warming pair of hose.

My conclusion for the year is, if you want to keep any hosiery then don’t wear them more than once, twice if you’re being super careful.

Hoarding well

Thank goodness I’ve been hoarding well. These tights were worn months ago and I thought I’d forgotten what they were but in my stash of things to throw out was the packaging so all is well. I can tell you these are Jonathan Aston “abstract” tights.

Walking Gear

This was my walking gear for a day out with friends at Rutland Water. Trust Hoseoffun to always try to glam up any occasion, either that or people just think I’m completely bonkers.

Green fishnets from ASOS was what I opted for and as you all know fishnets on bare feet can cause blisters and chafing. Usually I put on a pair of socks over the tights but what about under the tights, would that be better? Well today is the time to find out!

For the interests of science, the science of hosiery, I wore one sock beneath and the other on top. No chafing, hey you are dealing with an expert here but for all you amateurs my experience tells you that if you want to no chafing then under. When I’ve worn them over fishnets I am able to feel the nets and feel a long extended walk would lead to pain.

Both ways are a little unusual and feel abnormal but it is one of the many tips I have to avoid hosiery wearing injuries. No one knows, especially if you wear a lovely pair of boots.

The day turned out to be quite sunny and I did think I may get fishnet tan lines but unfortunately (because I’m eccentric) it didn’t happen. The tights avoided toe strangulation due to the fiber net around the ends. Against my pale legs the green was well defined.

For the Summer

It’s been sooo hot this year my hosiery wearing has been a bit haphazard but for the summer if you can’t bear to bare those legs then I suggest a pair of hold ups like these Trasparenze ones called Oro.

These were the last pair of hold ups I wore from May. They are ideal for weather that is very changeable, mebbe not the sweltering stuff of recent weeks. I suggest a thinner pair for these conditions. As you can see these were higher denier with a glittery, shimmering floral design. Trasparenze is a brand I rate. Good solid hosiery, that always look good and the hold ups always hold up.

Pair two

So here is pair two. A pink affair from Tesco as described from previous post.

Coloured fishnets are the next big thing.

From a two packer

The second pair of socks I wore was from a two packer.

These are burgundy coloured fishnet socks from Tesco. Check out the smaller knit on the ends to try to avoid toe escapes and strangulation. I did have on a protective layer of more sock to prevent blisters from the fishnets (hey I was in London and there is a lot of walking in between those museums and galleries) but they had a dual purpose of providing me with a bit more warmth too.

The other will be on the next post but the amazing thing about these socks is that they were going for a song! Two pairs for a bargain price of £1.50 yes that’s 75p each!

Socks all the way

On a recent trip to the London I wore socks all the way.

These are the first of a few pairs I had, Oroblu fishnet “polka dot” socks. I love the ankle section and the contrasting dot pattern to the foot.

I had packed for warm early summer weather but it was at times a bit gloomy and the wind, hah, the wind chill was what gave me the shivers. I had to pair these with a pair of trainers, we were travelling light and my other shoes were a pair of comfy sandals. As usual, in my head my look was cute and quirky but in reality my height restrictions just made me look odd. The jumpsuit I was wearing didn’t show enough leg so the socks and outfit became one. So long as I didn’t see my reflection the taller version of me was what I saw 😉

Colour coordinated me

Look at colour coordinated me! Woo hoo!

So I did an alternating green, burgundy, green ensemble today.

My second hand Icelandic cardigan from the Red Cross shop on Laugavegur , followed by a burgundy short dress probably bought from Debenhams or the outlet in Nottingham, then my pair of green bargain bucket Next tights and finally my Skechers boots.

Crikey stripy

Crikey stripy, have had to lay these to rest after this wear. Holey moley appeared in toes.

You can’t go wrong with stripes. Always adding pizzazz to an outfit.

What! These again

What! These again I hear you shout. Well this is what happens when a girl is cold and possesses a fine pair of tights.

These are Falke tights. Stripy orange, red, burgundy footwear that always keeps me warm and always looks funky. Still years of happiness left in these stockings.

Trasparenze armonica

These trasparenze armonica tights were probably one of the first pairs of hosiery that made me think that this blog could work. Find it from October 2015

They’re here again for our enjoyment.

Orublu mishap

Had an Orublu mishap with these tights.

Great sturdy tights, with a standout geometric pattern. All angular to mean business, don’t mess with me attitude. I work with adhesive labels and accidentally stuck one on my leg which wrecked the hosiery. However I didn’t notice for some hours due to the nude part of the tights and so no one else knew unless I pointed it out to them. Luckily for me it wasn’t a newly opened pair and I have had a few happy wears out of them.

Slipper socks

Yes I’m including slipper socks! If socks are part of my repertoire then slipper socks are too.

I like to treat slipper socks like socks but due to their extra thickness I can’t wear them with my slippers so have to wear them as boots. These super cute, super soft totes kept me cosy and warm whilst catching up on those seasonal Christmas TV specials post Xmas holidays. Again from my bbf LT stash.

Back to the conventional

We went back to the conventional Elle tights today. Thick, woolly, stripy blue and ochre with a foot. As with all thicker tights a bit of falling downness but so long as you’re not having a shopping day it’s ok to keep pulling them up in the comfort of a friend’s house.

Lolita look?

Is this a Lolita look? As part of my Christmas bundle, this Elle brand floral caught my eye when I wanted something a bit more feminine. I thought it was a pair of sheer tights with a pattern of pink flowers on a black background. They turned out to be pink flowers on a mottled background. Quite strange really. All they needed was an addition of a knee joint print and the doll look would be completed.

Sparkling into the New Year

Yes I’m sparkling into the New Year with these stunners. Well that’s what I’m telling you. I actually wore these on Christmas day. Fresh new chrimbo hosiery from my goodies from my bbf LT. Unfortunately due to my new year post Christmas tidy up I’ve chucked the packaging away and I can’t remember what brand they are.

Hey I tell you something. If I look at the waistband, they might be branded. So for you guys I’m gonna rummage around in the dirty laundry basket.

The tights did indeed give me an answer, they are Falke hosiery. Hurray! I knew my Spidey sense would come through especially after sharing a bath with a rather chunky specimen. Fright of my life when it landed on my knee!

Sick of leftovers

Sick of leftovers yet? Hopefully you all have very convenient freezers that store any uneaten food. Certainly in my house I will be able to enjoy my Christmas turkey for the next few months and not get sick of it. Unlike my terrine which I had to have for the following 5 lunches after Christmas.

These are Christmas preparation tights, so leftovers. Hope you can all see the snowflakes at the top. Pretty Polly hosiery. They always try to do season themed patterns.

I have published an Instagram post a few days before this but due to my lacking tech skills I’ve not been able to transfer into wordpress. That will eventually get done but I need my resident expert for guidance.

Getting into the Christmas mood

Was I finally getting into the Christmas mood? Mebbe especially with these winter wonderland tights. An extremely reliable cold weather warmer. Worn and not washed properly numerous times. There are a few thinning areas and they do slide down creating saggy crotch but they’re good for Christmas and they do have a dash of colour. Not many more wears from them so enjoy whilst they last.

A Christmas Italian

Our work’s do was a Christmas Italian. A quicky job cos we never want to think about Xmas too early.

I wore a dress that I’ve had in my cupboard for a few years, bought when I was in denial that my cancer had spread. Luckily it fit, phew! Was going to wear a pair of sheer patterned tights but that day was the day when the forecasts were talking about freezing rain. So what did I have instead. Well you can never say no to a pair of red and orange stripy hosiery. I pretended it was for Christmas rather than the truth that I have a quirky sense of style, but hey style is what you make it.

The Italian was beautiful! Will go with hubby in the future.

Now is the time for woolly tights

Now is the time for woolly tights. What makes these cold, dark, long winters seem not as cold, dark and long. Of course the answer is and will always be a pair of funky wooly tights.

These are a pair of oldey, goody ones by Elle I think. Dark blue background with orange daisies to put a smile onto your face.

From one extreme to the other

From one extreme to the other. Last post was a supermarket sale item. This week is another showing of these crane tights from thehumanmade. Ok not quite on the other extreme pricewise (we could be talking Wolford) but for the majority of people it’s a hefty price to cough up for a pair of hosiery. I’m not criticising but at least there are sites out there to review them.

I love these tights because of the beautiful patterns they produce. Got these for my birthday and finally wore them in March 2017, “human made crane“. Totally one offs which you definitely don’t see walking around. However they only come in one size so for my short legs there is a lot of wrinkling and gather at my ankles so it does give the impression that I’ve got oversized leggings on.

For a lot of people these would make a gorgeous present and yes it doesn’t look like a big gift but the best things in life come in small packages. The unboxing of these is a joy, see post “my birthday” from November 2016.

It’s snowing glitter spots

It’s snowing glitter spots! These are Morrisons tights.These were first worn in January 2016 under “quick post“. Just proof that you can have fun with hosiery without breaking the bank.

All you need is a bit of shopping know how and courage. Sale goods are always quirky and there are too many boring black lycra legs out there. Use Christmas as an excuse to be daring and then don’t stop.

Christmas comes early

Christmas comes early to hoseoffun. I bought myself an early gift.

Look at these beauties! These are Gatta “Ars Armandi” holdups. Three fabulous patterns to choose from. I couldn’t so bought a pair of each.

Love the designs, a little bit of naughtiness that only I know.

I must be missing the summer

I have worn quite a few floral tights lately so I must be missing the summer.

These are Aristoc florals. Good pattern and they just glided on ignoring my dry skin and rotten nails.

See post “Flowers for Summer” from 2016

What do you reckon?

What do you reckon these are? I found them boxless but with bag. They look “house of Hollandy to me and I was given a few pairs from my friend Karen who had links to the hosiery business.

These are a dramatic squares, slashes, cheque design. A good blocky pattern.

Bacara to yesterday

Bacara to yesterday! I is so clever with them words.

These Gabrielle “bacara” tights were worn in December 2015 under the post of The Joy of Yesterday. A geometric pattern of squares it was punchy and was a greatly admired design.

Vera you’re back

Vera you’re back! Where have you been?

These are Vera Wang tights from her Simply Vera range. These first came out to play years ago in 2015, the birth year of hoseoffun. Unfortunately I don’t have a post specifically for them but they were mentioned with my minions tights in the November.

So grey tights with a ribbed ridge.

Flowers in the attic

I shall rephrase flowers in the attic to flowers from the box underneath the bed. Not as catchy but accurate.

One of my favourite designs, this is a Trasperanze pair of hose called “Platino”. A gorgeous colourful flower embroidered onto a black background. I still think they’re very pretty.

They were blogged about in April 2017. Being a repeat wear they had shrunk a bit and lay a bit lower on the body than a brand new unworn pair but in my eyes the beautiful pattern makes up for this.

What are these?

What are these? I’m gonna have to investigate cos I can’t remember what they are…

I think they are Veneziana’s, I’m gonna have to look a bit further…

Yes they are Veneziana “Gilda” tights. Posted originally from April 2016. Not seen these for a while. My plan now is to crawl under my bed and grab the storage box furthest from the edge and wear tights in that box. Hopefully we’ll all get a sense of nostalgia because these should be tights that I’ve not worn for a while. Fingers crossed.

Charnos flowers

I give to you a bunch of Charnos flowers. A fabulous floral design. Good strong bold pattern but my toes made holes so I had to rest them in peace at the end of the day.

Attention! Wolford

Attention! Wolford reporting for duty. What’s needed on a chilly November day? A pair of grey Wolford tights with black side tramlines. Comfort in style.

Posted these in August! Not so long ago so proof that I need to do a bit of sorting out to display forgotten designs. They were called “Lara“.

Excruciating pain

Whilst ironing I was thrown into excruciating pain. The first things that entered my mind was

1) I must have cut my toe nails a little too short, I hope I haven’t got an ingrowing nail, and

2) blimey that chemo stuff really messed with my extremities

Then the pain got a little worse so I thought I better investigate. It was only my big toe being cheese wired, right where the nail starts. I pulled a bit and I rubbed a bit and the pain subsided a little. Now, two hours later the pain has gone. Phew, I missed amputation for another day.

Unfortunately with a pair of tights as holey as these, toe strangulation is extremely normal. The other warning I must give is “foot through gaps” syndrome when putting them on. After a couple of attempts, using my normal method of stick foot in and pull up. I changed tack and used the gather hosiery all the way to the ends and unravel over toes towards thighs. It worked for these legsavenue fishnets. Last posted December 2016.

Again I was impressed by the change of weave around the toes.

Coordinating my outfit

If I was normal I’d find it so hard coordinating my outfit. It’s not difficult and it doesn’t have to be expensive. Just a bit of guts will do the trick.

Starting my invasion of my hosiery storage I needed a wine red/burgundy pair of tights to match my dress. These purple ones will do, and you know what they were perfect.

Under the original post of “Gipsy tartan“, it sounds like they were worn during chemo back in 2017

Too many pairs!

I have too many pairs! I have to post quite a few rewears and I need to stop buying new ones. My source of retail therapy gone, what can I shop for now? Ahhhhhhh!

My problem with repeat wear posting is my laziness. I grab the nearest store of tights and pick a random pair. This means the nearest store isn’t the box where I’ve painstakingly collected toilet rolls and carefully inserted a pair of freshly laundered hosiery and then meticulously labelled with brand and name. It’s the latest pile of clean tights that are waiting to be catalogued on my spare bed or stuffed into a carrier bag under the bed because I’ve had overnight visitors. So my rewears tend to be recent posts themselves. If I’m organised, which I’m sure I will be, they will be from vintage posts. Well that’s what I’ll be planning.

So here is Oroblu Lucilla, chosen via the first method. Nearest, appropriate clean pair. Blog “Oroblu weather” on the 21st March 2018,

Halloween 2018 part two

Halloween 2018 part two. You lucky people the places I’ve been to give you consecutive posts. How many boxes I’ve rummaged through to find this treasure?

Well too many! I searched and searched and couldn’t find the tights I wanted to wear but found these instead. I came to the conclusion that I have lots of tights (understatement) and I need to devise a method to store them.

This is a fuchsia based black skull pattern. Very elasticky and one of the few original pairs I had before the blog started.

Happy Halloween everybody! 💀

Halloween 2018

What’s in store for Halloween 2018? Well today and tomorrow I will be posting.

Today spider web tights, worn last year and won from love your legs. They felt a bit delicate after a wash and a years storage but no drifting. I had full confidence in them compared to the body they were in. I’ve been a bit delicate these last few days.

Smelling of flowers

I came up smelling of flowers today. Two trips to the pub for us.

Got together for lunch in Lincolnshire with friends and then in the evening, drinks in a local pub.

These tights brought out the good weather so are highly recommended.

Jonathan Aston “blossom”. As the autumnal season is about to start I put on a spring themed pattern. Am I wishing time away or what.

When I initially opened the pack I was a bit worried. The tights looked really long but once on, they were fine and comfortable as you can see.

Reliable Adrian

We can always count on reliable Adrian! With my hundreds of pairs of hosiery, I have made a conscious effort to wear the blogged ones.

Yes all my tights are different but when they’re been stored away it’s hard to recognise them. These were great! The waistband had the brand named on them. Hooray, no need to go through past blogs to find them.

So these are Adrian floral tights.

Do you remember Heidi?

Do you remember Heidi? It was a kids programme in the 80’s. It was badly dubbed and went on for weeks. I’ve been reminded of it because her friend was called Clara and that’s the name of these fishnet tights by Oroblu.

Originally I thought they were a faux fishnet,

but they were a fine net pattern instead.

The other thing I remember about this drama was the theme tune. As thirteen year olds we had a student science teacher and what are student teachers for? For abusing. This particular memory was of a class of teenagers, causing havoc in a lesson with one student perching on their stool loudly singing the Heidi theme tune and conducting the class to follow. It was possibly the day the poor teacher abruptly left the room holding back the tears. Children are not nice.